Things My Brother Does

Earlier, while we were eating dinner at a revolving sushi bar...

Him: So... I put the dumplings back.
Me: What?
Him: I put the dumplings back on the belt.
Me: YOU DID WHAT? What were you thinking?!
Him: It tasted old, and I didn't want to pay for that. And I want to see how long it takes to come back.
Me: *facepalm* By the time it rolls around again they will have noticed it and taken it off. If you get in trouble, I am not your sister...

When paying for the bill...

Him: So, it's $14? Cool, I have enough cash!
Me: Plus tax and tip.
Him: Why?
Me: Because you're supposed to tip the waiters for their service.
Him: But they only got us water; we did everything else ourselves.
Me: *facepalm* Just give them something. So they don't go running after me because you didn't tip them...