Self Pep Talk

I'm finding that no one cares what you think. No one wants to be helped, no one wants to be saved. People who complain about their shitty situations, they're just complaining. They don't want advice. they just want to vent, and for you to pat their head and tell them that they are still adequate, that they are still good people.

Would your real friends disregard your feelings and tell you that you are being silly, stupid, trivializing something that, at that moment, is deeply affecting you? Of course not. But we're so afraid to let go that we cling on to unhealthy people. And we suffer, not they. In the uneven, symbiotic, toxic relationship, we suffer, not them. We need to constantly reflect on ourselves what we do and why we do it. How it affects the ones we love. How it affects ourselves. Constant introspection. Mindfulness. That is the path to wisdom.

No matter what you try and do, you cannot change the people around you. because no one wants to listen to you. So, being hung up on something that you cannot control, on behavior that you cannot modify, is useless. Every day I tell my brother to sit further away from the TV screen. but of course he doesn't listen. He won't listen until he becomes completely blind and even then, he may be right next to the tv, listening to it. So this need of yours, stop it. Because by trying to help others, you're just hurting yourself. No one gives a damn. Just let your silent tears flow as you watch them drown. If you throw them a rope, they won't grab it anyway.

And yeah, having to worry about your boyfriend being jealous is silly. In a good relationship, you should never have to alter your behavior based on someone else's insecurities. But after being in a relationship for a while, you become conditioned to certain behaviors. I'm free. I don't have to worry about that shit anymore.